Over the past year I have had a lot of time to renew my mind with the Word of God. Prior to this, I did not know I was just a confused child of God. I’d start my day with prayer and would pray every now and then but that was always quick. Never did I see it as “being ungrateful.” After a while, it just seemed like a routine I could lessen. Shame on me. A preachers kid…brought up in church…surrounded by prayer warriors. I faded out prayer because I was hurting and felt God was punishing me. So, in return, I wasn’t going to pray. Joke on me!
Slowly, and for days, every moment seemed miserable. I honestly wanted to give up on life. Until one day, while going through this unknown illness for almost a year (now diagnosed as Gastroparesis) put me on my knees in prayer. I couldn’t eat or sleep and had just started a new job so I had no health insurance. My relationship with those around me became affected. Yet, everyone was praying for me. After a few days of my mom pleading and praying for me to come home, I gave in. I didn’t want to leave my honey and kids in another state just to get help; but, no help was being provided to me here in my own state. While at mom’s and around my family, I felt lost and loved at once. All I could do and wanted to do was pray – pray for change. I found myself often times alone reading the Bible and praying. I started reading inspirational books and found myself praying suggested prayers. My whole attitude started changing. Although this illness brought me way down, I started remembering what I read and was able to smile, even when I didn’t feel like it.
All I could do was pray. Soon, my prayers became “thank you Jesus for dying for me for you went through far more than I ever will.” When the pain is so bad, I pray sincerely for strength and God eases my pain. I know he doesn’t have to because it’s His will and never my own. It’s been a long road yet he still gives me breath.
Because of his unconditional love and the many letters in his Word, I know my God has a plan for me. I’m like this different person now. All because I chose to sincerely pray for a closer walk with Jesus. I just want to love everybody the way God loves me! I shall continue to pray, without ceasing. I’ve always wanted God to use me for his service. When I became sincere doors began to open. I SMILE big now because here I am sharing with you which is something I’d never do. My honey and I have been members of a local church for a little while now but God is truly using us to be a help to others. We have the perfect church family :).
I pray God continues to use us together in doing His will. I am a true believer in the power of sincere prayer! May your prayers to Him be sincere for he knows the desires of your heart, and your prayers will be answered, if it be HIS will.